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| I haven't answered one of these questions before.. but I was incredibly bored while importing cds onto my computer.. So, random..
I am actually kind of indecisive.. lol. There are great points for both. When I initially began writing this I instantly though OCEAN. However, you do not know something about me. I have Spheksophobia. (by the way, my spell check has it marked wrong, and gives the option of other phobias.. although, this is a real phobia too). This, is the fear, or irrational fear to be more exact, of wasps, and with water and outdoors, you get bees, wasps, and other sorts of flying insects (which remind me of wasps and still scare me). So with this thought, I immediately changed to [indoor] pool. Hmm. However, I love to TRY to get a tan, so ocean would be nice too. Who knows. My final answer I've come to though would be pool. Or small pond/lake that has no bugs.. : ]
We recently went to a small pond/lake this summer. It was awesome and I had a lot of fun. Except--- I really had to pee, and the bathrooms there were DISGUSTING. It was on a campground, and I swear the people either did not know how to flush, or the toilet was broken. There was like 7 'dumbs' in that thing. I refuse to pee on myself. gross. (in the water.. duh.).. So, I had quite a stomach ache. Oh well. Ok. Well I'm done.. Later Kids.
-jlynn.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too! | | |
| So, I'm back again. Yesterday was incredibly retarded. I talked to a friend about it today, and it just made me realize that I do NOT need these people. They do NOT affect my life in any big way. I have other friends, friends that honestly I never really gave a chance.
Here comes some honesty...
There is this girl that I worked with a few years back. We'll call her Faloolah. Well, Faloolah and I got along really well at work, and I decided to hook her up with my boyfriends best friend, we will call him Murphy. They were together for a couple months, then broke it off due to her mom's overprotective-ness. She had another relationship, filled with sleeping with multiple guys. Then after a few months with that guy, she went back with Murphy. They've been back together for about 8 months now. Now, Murphy and I have become awesome friends do to the fact that I hang out with him all the time with my boyfriend. Murphy has become like a little brother figure, and I almost feel protective of him at times. He is not very outspoken, and he tends to not stand up for himself. When Faloolah started hanging out with us more, our friendship changed drastically. At work, we got along very well, but hanging out.. it was different. At first, we got along great, and she ended up telling me things about the breakup period that I did not want to know. Her and Murphy were having some problems about her past sex life, and her current social life. She is the kind of girl to hang out with many of guys, especially ones that life her, or she has had sex with in the past. If I were Murphy, I would have been irritated by this too. Well, she told me the grand total of men to enter, and it was outrageous for a 18 year old girl! SIXTEEN. Well, anyways.. After they had their problems, and me hearing both sides of the stories.. I pretty much made a choice in my head. I was on Murphy's side. It made me not like Faloolah so much anymore.. But why?
I realized, that this is not my business. I was mad at her for how she treated my friend. This was my overprotective side. I wished that he would break it off with her, and I even made up things in my head about reasons why. It was ridiculous. He is 19 freakin' years old! He can take care of himself. This was and is not my business, and I'm proud of myself for finally figuring this out. I've been able to maintain my cool around her, and lately they have been a lot better. I think that maybe her and I should work things out and become better friends..
Am I doing this because I want a new friend to make up for those that I lost, or do I really want to be friends with this girl? I'm not really sure. I guess we will have to see.
-jlynn.
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| No introductions, i'm just gonna start with today. the past is the past, and now is now.
I have to say, I am incredibly disappointed in the people that I actually called my friends. You can think something so great about someone, and they can completely blow it. I'm not going to sit here and 'bash' these people, but I really need to get this out. This feeling that is almost hate, and very much a feeling of loss. I've been friends with this group of people for quite a while now, this specific group was met through a mutual friend, whom is not inside this 'past tense' form of friends. However, she can be blamed just as much.
PEOPLE - When you have friends, and they are your true friends, HAVE THEIR BACKS. I'm not saying that when your friend is acting a fool being drunk and trying to fight to back them up, I am saying when you BELIEVE your friend is right, stand up for them and don't care about what any other person thinks. If you do this, you can be a great person to someone.
I can't even go into detail about the specific situation I'm dealing with, but I can do one thing. Vent.
I get an email from a friend and she tells me something that just incredibly breaks my world. I don't know if this small 'difference in opinion' is worth breaking my world (probably not), but it hurt me incredibly that I could just not deal. I start to cry instantly. I even do the 15year old thing to do by deleting anyone having to do with this situation from my facebook and myspace. I know, very mature right? Anyways, I was hurt. The worse part of it, is the girl telling me this, actually seems to agree with these other people. And this person is my BEST friend. I can't even believe it. Usually things can be my fault, I'm not denying this. I sat and thought about this problem for over an hour, and when I was doing this, I really could not even imagine how this problem was my fault. Usually when things ARE my fault or my doing, it takes me time, but I admit when I am wrong. But I did not feel wrong in this case. And for my friends to not stand up for me, breaks my heart. It's still pounding with sadness.
I've decided that these people are not 'real' friends. I know that I do have a couple real friends, and I think that they are the ones I should be deserving of, and they deserving me. A mutual deservance if you will. My focus is going to be turned to them, as it probably should have been in the first place. My only question is about the girl who told me. She is one that I actually care deeply about. We have been friends for over 13 years! It's not something I can (or should, I would think) easily throw away. We've had tons of problems lately, and it's a stressful relationship. I don't know how I should feel about her anymore. She didn't have my back for the last few years, but suddenly I'm shocked when she doesn't have it this time either. I want to just 'write her off', but that direction seems to hard, in both the way of not talking to her I'd miss her, and also that it might be too seveere of a reprocussion. I'm so lost in this right now. Usually I turn to music or a friend, and right now I'm lacking in both. This is my only way out right now. And it still hurts.
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| Reasoning: I'm bored.
Honesty: I'm sad.
Thinking: This first blog is going to be very long with emotions. | | |
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